|
March 06, 2008
Nancy Ganiard Smith ,
The New York Times heralds Betsy Brown Braun as 'the parenting guru.' The popular child development specialist seems to channel Dr. Spock with her sage, straightforward advice; an approach peppered by an Erma Bombeck-style wit.
'My dream house has no kitchen. That's not my area. But I'm really good with kids,' Braun said during a recent interview at her Pacific Palisades home.
Braun's first book, 'Just Tell Me What to Say,' was recently published by Harper Collins and is already garnering good reviews. 'Just Tell Me' offers 'sensible tips and scripts for perplexed parents.' Braun will sign copies of her book at 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, March 13 at Village Books, 1049 Swarthmore.
The book's cover addresses many issues specific to the 2- to 6-year-old crowd--throwing tantrums, picky eating, whining, sibling rivalry, potty talk and swearing--all ripe for strategic parental responses. Braun's book tackles these irritants along with weightier subjects such as illness, divorce and death.
Learning about the birds and the bees gets apt attention, too, with a chapter titled 'How Did That Baby Get in Your Tummy?' Another section, 'Is the Fire Going to Come to Our House?', guides parents in answering tough questions about natural disasters, terrorism and war.
'Doing what I've done for such a long time, you realize there's nothing new on the planet,' says Braun, who has more than 35 years of experience in elementary education and as a parenting educator. The founder of Parenting Pathways, Inc., Braun offers both private consulting and parent seminars. Her authority also stems from raising her own kids''triplets Jesse, Ben and Lucas, who are now 30''with her husband Ray Braun.
'Parents kept asking me the same questions over and over,' Braun says, pointing out that the difficulty of getting kids to listen is by far the most common parental lament. 'I realized I could reach a much bigger audience by writing a book. Everyone should have this information. Everyone should know you start talking to kids about death when they're two, not when they're five.'
In the chapter devoted to learning about death ('Why is My Goldfish Floating in the Toilet?'), Braun counsels parents to throw away the euphemisms--'the doggie went to play in the country' or that Grandmother 'passed away'--in favor of 'real' words such as dead, death, die and dying.
'Many of these topics aren't loaded for kids, they're loaded for the parents,' she says. 'The book is meant as a starting point. It is not meant to imply 'This is what you have to say.' I hope it will give readers confidence to craft their own response to their own individual child.
'I'm also hoping it will be timeless, that it will sit on people's shelves like a security blanket. Each chapter really stands alone.'
Though 'Just Tell Me What to Say' is officially geared to parents and grandparents of children ages 2 to 6, parents with kids of all ages will find it useful, according to Braun.
She acknowledges how the Information Age presents new challenges to the job of parenting.
'There are so many ways for kids to go off track,' she says. 'We could protect kids in ways we can't now. It's more important than ever to set limits.'
What hasn't changed is how critical it is for parents to demonstrate the behavior and values they hope their kids will take with them into adulthood. 'Healthy parents lead to healthy children' is one of Braun's favorite mantras, and she is quick to refer clients to therapeutic settings when indicated.
While a parent who spends time nurturing his or her child is optimal, becoming overly involved (what Braun refers to as a 'helicopter' parent) is an all-too-common trait. Braun sees this trait unfold often, particularly among older parents, who apply the same determination and zeal to raising kids as they did to their careers.
'In order for kids to grow up and be satisfied, competent human beings, they need to struggle and make mistakes,' Braun says. 'They need to figure out who they are, not who you want them to be.'
At public appearances, such as her forthcoming one at Village Books, Braun really enjoys fielding questions.
'I like that I'm known as someone who tells it like it is,' she says. 'I think it's always in the best interest of the family.'
|
